One of my daughters found a quote…the source unknown… that said “Everything is ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.” In the same vein, Author Richard Bach said, “Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you are alive, it isn’t.”
What I am just rediscovering is that there is a big difference between your heart pumping, your brain synapsis firing, your legs bending and straightening…and being alive.
I had become a professional at going through the motions. I had done it so well and for so long that I had almost convinced myself that feeling was optional. Everything looked good from the outside. My facade had been well-constructed… noone would be able to tell what it was covering unless they got close enough… and only a few friends were allowed to see that the foundation of our “Happy Little Family” had been constructed without thought or planning….huge gaps where blocks were missing…other blocks cracked and crumbling… still others laying in piles in the corners… It wasn’t a matter of calling in professionals for repairs…it was way beyond that…it was just a matter of time before a big storm came and washed it all away.
There were little storms daily… rarely a day with out one… but last summer I weathered my last one. The house might have fallen, but God is faithful and my children and I came through with barely a scratch.
Last year when I started writing this blog, I was forty ( I mean 29 of course!) And I might reference forty in my writing at times because I do not think that it is insignificant that I literally cried out to God and I was heard. We can’t know how our prayers will be answered exactly, but we can rest assured that they will be answered… in His time. When everything else is right.”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and I will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:11…
I am also a mother of four beautiful , brilliant, talented….(yes, yes, I could go on forever) children that I birthed… and two equally fabulous “bonus children” that I inherited when I married their father this summer… and I am a writer. Writing for me is not really a choice… sometimes I feel compelled…like the words and thoughts must get out, must be heard. The lessons that I have learned from living and observing and from the children in my life are invaluable…I may not be a perfect model for patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control… etc. etc….but I am a better person for the experiences I have had – both good and bad- and for the unconditional love that little children are capable of sharing and showing. Without pretense, without self-consciousness, children can openly love and express their emotions. I hope to always be like a little child seeing the wonder of the world and trying to see the best in people.
I heard for years that I was impractical, unrealistic … that the world was scary and that people were bad… I was also told that I was stuck. I tried to ignore it… and I never believed it… and through God’s faithfulness and His infusion of stength, now I am unstuck. I am learning to find my bliss by sharing my journey. I am not bitter or resentful. I have been blessed along my diverted path… I took a long detour, but I always had faith that I would find my way again. I hope that you will read my posts and comment when something resonates with you. Please share with your friends if you think that there is something said that they could relate to.
I want to leave you with a few of my favorite quotes:
“Always remember to face the sunshine and all the shadows will fall behind you.”
‘When Life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show Life you have a thousand reasons to smile.”
“Expect your every need to be met, expect the answer to every problem, expect abundance on every level, expect to grow spiritually.” Eileen Caddy
“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Anais Nin
“For every minute that you are angry you have lost sixty seconds of happiness.”
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips, and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened.” Og Mandino
“peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
Peace to you.