Maybe I want to smack Bobby McFerrin for singing such a peppy, (annoying to me at the moment) song. Do you ever want to smack me? All of my “Don’t worry…be happy” messages I “preach”? Just please keep in mind that I bet Babby McFerrin was not always skipping down the street, touching a child on the head who had just dropped the ice cream off of his cone and magically turning the child’s frown upside down with his perky-ness. I know that my Good News is not always what you want to read on Bad Days… but maybe Bobby was singing “Don’t worry be happy”… for himself…when he wasn’t really feeling it…because he needed to remind himself of it…because he needed a positive mantra in his head instead of the pesky “nay saying” voices that tell us how crappy everything is.
When I am “preaching”…when I am looking up those Bible or Og or Piglet quotes about having love in my heart and not being afraid and getting unstuck and being forgiving etc. etc. I am preaching to me more than I am” preaching” to you. I am not telling YOU what YOU should do…I am reminding myself about things that I already know…but that I need to THINK ABOUT. I am putting the thoughts and quotes and songs and prayers down in words…because I know how it feels to be at peace, and I want to get myself back into a good place… to meditate on it. Sometimes I am shouting it out loudly so that I will hear it. Like today.
Yesterday I did not write. I wanted to, but I was “burning the candle at both ends”. Ironic, huh? Too much to do and too little time…I think I wrote a blog about that just two days ago. It is ridiculous to believe that all good plans will not possibly need to be altered. There are so many moving parts to our REAL WORLD day (not to be confused with our Utopian world). There are moving parts and moving people…and sometimes unmoving…unyielding…or unwell people. We sometimes have to just fly by the seat of our pants or wing it.
When I was a preschool teacher I was a PRO at having a perfect plan…and usually scrapping it. Maybe the plan was to be inside but it was BEAUTIFUL outside! All we needed to go to plan “b” was a brown paper bag and a shift in direction toward the door…and we were off on a scavenger hunt for different leaves or rocks or acorns. Or, maybe the plan was to draw the Letter “D” and the letter “d”…but the kids had too much energy to sit still and practice writing “D’s”…so we played “duck, duck, GOOSE!” and made dinosaurs with dough, and did the freeze Dance. The reality is that we don’t live in a bubble or a vacuum and outside factors affect how we feel and what we do. If we fight the need to switch gears, our movement and momentum stalls and we damage! inflexibility, in my opinion, is a BIG character flaw.
Sadly, no matter how good my plan or my intention to “stay on a happy bus” or to make time for God every day or to be the perfect, patient parent…or…or…or… I am going to fail sometimes. And I am going to forgive myself (and ask for forgiveness if that is warranted) and move on. That is what I am trying to do today…because yesterday was crap.
Yesterday before I FINALLY went to bed after a blucky yucky day, I wrote on my Facebook status: “All I can say to this day is good riddance…and don’t let the screen door hit your butt on the way out.” What in the world was so wrong? Really just a bunch of little things that added up and added up…and I am really tired. But THANK YOU,GOD! that it was really nothing. No catastrophe. Just a bunch of little nagging nothings whittling away at the joy and happiness that I am always preaching about.
This is a good time I think to talk about some solutions.
Probably changing my habits would make me feel better…eating a piece of fruit a week would maybe be a good start…or drinking more water…or putting something green in my mouth other than spearmint gum.
That and sleeping enough. Yes, some shifts of habit could make me feel better physically.
Taking care of loose ends…finishing things that are half started…cleaning up and straightening up messes…a general organization… AND figuring out how to make big bucks… with great benefits…by doing what I love…and still balance all of the other responsibilities that are my main concern. What am I willing to sacrifice? My goals…time with my kids…? HOW DO WE FIND A BALANCE? Is it possible or am I destined to be chasing my tail…or have dissatisfied on occasion that my picture is missing some necessary details. If I could get things done or KNOW the answers to these questions, I could mentally feel better.
One more day of “preaching”, ok? Because I need it. I preach “do not to be afraid… do not worry… all of our needs are provided… trust… have faith…be calm… but SOME DAYS I don’t feel that way.
I am going to shout to myself what to do. I am NOT going to stay in a funk. Some people, I believe, truly think that they “deserve” to wallow around in it their occasional day of misery like a pig in mud. Not me. I want out of the low, messy place. I want to be high and dry.
I need some “Fresh Air” solutions.
“My attitude will not take care of itself”. I have to make a choice to have a good attitude and not wallow around in my bad day.
“Happiness is something I can decide ahead of time”. I can decide to be the thermostat and not the thermometer. I can control my feelings and responses…not reflect or be controlled by my circumstances.
“Even in the bad days, God is going to work it out in the end.” ~Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16
“Be grateful. Develop a high appreciation for life.” ~ sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:10
“People can either irritate or entertain: Every person a problem to be avoided or a person to love.” ~ find something good and positive in everybody and everything.
“Turn everything over to God” ~ it can’t be our problem and God’s problem too.
~Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Let it go.
Let it go.
Just like yesterday…let it go.
“There’s a calm that covers me, when I kneel down at your feet. It’s a place of healing. It’s a place where I find freedom. Theres’s a place my eyes can’t see, where my spirit longs to be. It’s a place of healing. It’s a place I’ll live in freedom.~ I’m gonna lift my hands till I can reach heaven. I’m gonna shout your name till the walls come falling down. I’ve come to worship. I’ve come to worship. I’m gonna sing my song like I am unashamed. I’m gonna shout for joy at the mention of Your name. I’ve come to worship. I’ve come to worship. ~There’s a love that lives in me, for you Lord, my Savior King. Who breaks the sin that’s binding and leads me to a place of freedom. There’s no one that can bring me peace, that can wash me clean, like You Lord. There’s nothing in this world that can free me. You saved my soul.”Place of Freedom, C.J. Blount, Highland’s Church
My mother in law sent me a note…”Go for your thinking and praying walk.” I think that is a good idea. Very.
Plan “A” is to not wallow. Plan “B” is to not wallow. Plan “C” is to not wallow. Maybe somebody could come and smack me? A hug would be ok too.