Young Allie, “Now, say you’re a bird.”… Young Noah, “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” Aaaahhhh. Sigh. Be still my heart. That is my favorite scene of any movie ever. I imagine that it will always be. Just watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3qEw2Plx0. . Sigh. Sigh again. The Notebook. The most romantic book and movie EVER. You might think I am a nut job for crying over a story when I know how it plays out and I know how it ends. But I do. I cry like a baby. Big alligator tears don’t just trickle down my cheeks… they pour. And then my neck and my shirt are soppy. It is a big mess. Grant it that the book and the movie are really nothing alike….but each in its own way is my very favorite. What a love story. And what chemistry between Allie and Noah…both the Nicholas Sparks inspired imaginary characters AND the actors Ryan Gosling and Rachael McAdams. Their characters ooooze with passion and longing for each other.
Another heart wrenching and beautiful scene is where grown Allie has returned after circumstances have separated them. She is compelled to see Noah again… on a whim she leaves her fiancé to go back to the house that Noah had promised in their youth to rebuild for her… the house that he did rebuild and now lives in alone. Her arrival is unexpected…really to them both. Noah shares a meal with her and invites her to return the next day because there is something that he wants to show her.
He wrote her everyday for a year… but her mother had separated them 7 years previously. the well-meaning mother had kept 365 letters Noah had written to Allie from her daughter! This same mother forsook her own true love with a man because he was lower class and not an appropriate match for her. How could she make the same mistake with her daughter? How could she…well, yes, play God?
What a mess, right? What a perfect example of the heartache and misunderstanding that people cause themselves and each other. Noah and Allie share a pure love. The reason that I am so drawn to them is because I can see…no, I will go so far as to say that I KNOW that this is the kind of love that God has in mind for lovers.
Can any guy be a lover of any girl? Theoretically any guy can have a physical relationship with anybody they want…and so can any girl. But that isn’t the plan. We must first see all men and all women as our brothers and sisters. We are God’s children. We are meant to love each other…but not necessarily intimately and when we confuse our love and care for our brother or our sister with passionate love, it can cause so much heartache and misunderstanding. But we do that all of the time. That is why we have to know ourselves and know our God before we can even consider Knowing another person. Too often we see a person that is beautiful and that we like and who we appreciate and if we listen to conventional wisdom we believe that person may be a great candidate for a mate. So we date. And we know what typical people do when they date. And things seem great.
But is this the one? Is there only one for us or could we make anyone do with enough effort?
There is a history of arranged marriages that seem to have worked. It was the expectation that it would work. I imagine that in many of those situations one or both of the betrothed had to lay aside, sacrifice, their own desires and dreams…a bit like a self-induced lobotomy. When the cultural expectation of arrangement is accepted there may be relationships that truly fuse into a beautiful oneness. I don’t know anything about arranged marriages or how they typically work or how the couple feels about their lives. I can only image…
But I do know about our culture. Is it enough to choose a partner that we like…or even love… if there is no passion? God is very passionate about us! Jesus is very passionate about us! The Bible in the Song of Solomon contains erotic glimpses of the sexual passion that earthly lovers are created to share. It isn’t an ugly thing or a shameful thing. It is glorious. And interestingly, the female lover warns the daughters of Jerusalem (all of us) not to stir up love until it is ready! So much pain and heartache could be avoided if we could all heed this advice.
But when it is ready…If it is a union joined by God, blessed by God and consecrated to God… then we can trust that God provided this passion! An intimate, trusting, giving love that is shared by soul mates is a glimpse of heaven. It is a place a peace. It is a place of comfort. There is nothing but good and love. Isn’t that who God is and what He wants for us. What a gift! But I don’t believe that we can create this love because we want to. I don’t believe that this kind of love is a choice. We can choose to love our brothers and our sisters for certain…but this two hearts beating as one love is not man-made. It is not of this world. Knowing this little glimpse of Heaven… knowing someone and being fully known and being safe in that knowledge…is what I desire for my single friends and for my children and even for the relationships of married people who do not know this type of pure, Godly passion.
God loves to perform miracles and to resurrect lives that are dead. He does.
I Corinthians 13: 1-3 says, ” If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
Love is not just a good thing to desire…it isn’t just a want. It is a NEED. A core deep-down in our soul what we are made for elemental need. I am not trying to convince anyone that a woman must have a man and a man must have a woman. In fact, if it isn’t the mate that God wants for you to have…the mate that shows you a glimpse of His perfect love…then wait. God has a perfect plan. Don’t screw it up like Allie’s mom. And don’t be disheartened if you don’t have this passion. It may be there? Somewhere? Do you BELIEVE in the power of prayer? I do
And if we can not share this Passionate love with a mate right now, is there an outlet for our love and passion that can show others God’s Love? Yes. Definitely. What is your passion? Ask God to show you how to use it.
I love this word: “Synergy”. It means, “the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements.” That is what Godly relationships are designed to do… Be it passionate sexual love from God or our love and relationship with our brothers and sisters. Both are more than desirable. Both are beautiful. Both are wanted. My prayer remains that you will know both. But if in this life you do not glimpse the passion of human lovers…be at peace. You will know that love fully either here or in heaven and it will be perfect as all things are with God. And it will be in God’s time. It will be.