What is Abuse?
Abuse is fundamentally a mentality. It is a mindset of entitlement. The abuser sees himself as entitled. He is the center of the world, and he demands that his victim make him the center of her world. His goal is power and control over others. For him, power and control are his natural right, and he feels quite justified in using whatever means are necessary to obtain that power and control. The abuser is not hampered in these efforts by the pangs of a healthy conscience and indeed often lacks a conscience.
While this mentality of power and control often expresses itself in various forms of physical abuse, it just as frequently employs tactics of verbal, emotional, financial, social, sexual and spiritual abuse. Thus, an abuser may never actually lay a hand on his wife and yet be very actively terrorizing her in incredibly damaging ways.
Abuse in any of its forms destroys the victim’s person. Abuse, in the end, is murder.
~ CRYING OUT FOR JUSTICE (website)
I don’t know who wrote the above definition, but one of my guest authors this past week recommended the website cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com. If the articles that you have read this past week on my blog have struck a chord with you personally or you know someone who would benefit from reading more about this topic, I hope that you will share this link. Personally I think that everyone would benefit from reading about other REAL ities. If we are blessed to have a loving relationship and support from our friends and family and church…if we are fortunate enough to be able to find gainful employment that doesn’t take all of our time and energy away from our family…if we have a roof over our head and food to feed our children…keep in mind that there are people JUST LIKE YOU AND ME who DON’T. Good people who are literally struggling daily to survive. Often times instead of having the support of the people who were their friends in better times, they are shunned.
There are a few more articles in the same vein from other “Guest Authors” that I want to share next week… Then I will switch topics to focus on something different for a bit. But I always want to hear from people who have something that they need to say…or to share. Consider this blog your opportunity to lay it out there!
I want to keep encouraging people to share their stories. If you don’t share it with me, share it with someone you trust. If the person you thought you could trust doesn’t hear what you are saying or tries to “blow you off”…find someone else. Don’t be a martyr. Martyrs typically die. It is noble to sacrifice our life…but we can stay alive while we do it! We can make our life’s work sharing our beliefs and causes…but there is no need to suffer and die for it. What good does that do for anybody? It certainly doesn’t help those that depend on us…namely our children. We don’t need martyrs, we need leaders. We need strong parents and supportive friends. Stand up. We don’t have to put ourself in harms way…but other people need to open their eyes. If we want to be understood, we need to explain. If we want people to see us and be woken up, then TURN ON THE LIGHT. There are a lot of men and women that have a similar story to tell. If everyone whispered at the same time it would make a roar that could not be ignored. It is time to say “Enough”. Say “NO!” to being a victim. Say “NO!” to being a martyr. Say “YES!!!” to living in peace.
And just so you know, you can not do it alone. You can try…and you may make progress…but you need God. Ask God to put human people in your life that will hold you up when you can not go on…who will encourage you when you feel like giving up. Don’t just ask…but EXPECT. You must believe in God’s power to do anything FOR YOU! “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
After the death of Moses God appointed Joshua to lead. “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you not forsake you.” Joshua 1:5
As it was with Moses, and Joshua and God’s other children…so it is with you. If God is with us, who can be against us? Unwise people will be against us. Evil people will be against us. Ignorant people will be against us. Don’t hate them…hate poisons the “hater”. Pray for them…and let God take care of the rest.